


That Can Be Arranged

by ColourODarkness



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types
Genre: ADORABLE SHITS, AI, Banter, Drabble, Gen, being nerds, impatient tony, jarvis being sassy, short dont kill me, workshop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 15:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1784236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColourODarkness/pseuds/ColourODarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jarvis isn't afraid to sass Tony</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Can Be Arranged

**Author's Note:**

> I used to write a lot of crappy fanfiction as a kid, but I sort of grew out of it. This is probably the first thing I've actually written in about 6 years...  
> I apologise for the disgustingly short length, I wrote this in literally 10 minutes or so and had no idea where to go with it, so here it is~ 
> 
> Enjoy.

Tony was nervous. No. Tony was MORE than nervous.  
Tony was downright anxious, his hand shaking as wiped away at the name written on the dusty box, locked with a device he had yet to take a look at. Not that that was a problem, Tony could break into the box with a screwdriver, or if that failed, a crowbar... Possibly a drill or a welding torch, maybe even a buzz saw if the box was particularly unwilling to open, though obviously the big boy toys were strictly a last ditch attempt option, even if they were the most fun, it’d be stupid to risk damaging the items inside the box just because he was impatient to get it open.

“Sir perhaps it would be wise to scan the box before you-"  


“I know what’s inside it shnookems don’t worry~” He cut Jarvis off before he could finish, wiping his dusty hand on his dark shirt, ignoring the gray mark it left there. “You’re such a mother hen...” He took a closer look at the lock on the side, some voice activated mechanism that he sure as hell couldn’t open himself.

“I understand you believe you know what’s inside sir, but that doesn’t exclude the possibility of a failsafe device or something that you may not want to see. I still recommend that you allow me to perform a full scan on it before opening.”  
Tony rolled his eyes, hoisting the box best he could onto one of his work benches. “If there’s nothing suspicious in there I’m going to punish you for wasting my time.”

“Of course sir. You may ground me for the weekend if it’ll make you feel better about my concern for your wellbeing.”  


“I need to modify your programming... Take that sass from your system.” He fell back into his desk chair, spinning it idly whilst downing his daily dose of vitamins in the foul concoction that Dum-E liked to think was a drink.  


“You have said yourself many times before, you would have me no other way~”  


“I’ve said that about many things J, but I still upgrade and debug them...” The loading bar for the scan process popped up on the screen, showing the scanning of what appeared to be inside. “5 minutes? Seriously??”

“Are you implying I’m bugged sir??”  
“Well you’re taking a whole 5 minutes to scan a box.”  
“I’ll add an extra 5 minute rescan.” 5 minutes went up to 10.  
“Really? We’re playing that game??”  
“Game sir? I’m merely doing what I believe is best for your wellbeing. In scanning the box twice I can be thorough with my checks and ensure that no harm comes to you as you investigate what it is that’s inside.”  
“Screw you Jarvis...” He tipped the jug as far as it would go, taking the last remnants of the drink.  
“I’m sure that can be arranged sir.”  
Tony very almost choked on the mouthful of liquid, sitting upright in his chair with a harsh swallow before laughing loudly.

He could almost see the amused, affectionate smile of his greatest creation.


End file.
